The 13 Hottest Men of Gaming, In Color, Part 3April 7, 2008
Eddy Gordo of Tekken infamy opens up big for us today at 5th place; honestly, there’s no way that the impeccable grace and, uh, muscles of a well-trained capoeirista weren’t going to make it somewhere on this list. The fact that his moves are kind of hard to get used to blocking, and his penchant for juggle combos has the dubious honor of being acknowledged in a Dane Cook standup are really just icing on the cake. Props to Namco for giving us the dopest Brazilian character ever to grace a video game, and shame, shame, shame on Capcom for giving us Rikuo (a fish-man), Blanka (a green headbiting monster) and Sean (like Ryu and Ken, but he sucks). Seriously.
Coming in at fourth place is Rico Rodriguez, from Just Cause, also known as the game I had never even heard about until I started looking for Latino video game characters. (That’s “Just Cause” as in, a cause that is just, not ‘just ’cause I feel like it’. Common mistake.) As far as I can tell, it plays like Grand Theft Auto mixed with a liberal dose of CIA insurgency. Wikipedia tells us:
Rodriguez has been described by developers as being “the child of one thousand comic books and action movies. He is James Bond, Mad Max, Jason Bourne, El Mariachi, Wolverine, Punisher, Rambo, Tony Montana, Han Solo and Vincent Vega all rolled into one. With a touch of Enrique Iglesias to top it all off!”.
That’s pretty sexy. I guess I’m a sucker for classic bad boys, though I’ll admit that he’d be even hotter with some Marxist revolutionary leanings. Oh well – everyone needs a project.
Third place gives us another bad boy who needs no introduction; it’s none other than Carl “C.J.” Johnson of GTA: San Andreas fame. A gangbanger and a mama’s boy, a street hustler and a legitimate businessman – all classically sexy. That he’s the star of a sex scandal second only to Paris Hilton’s – the legendary Hot Coffee saga – only cements his legacy. It’s anyone’s guess as to whether C.J. is down for the Boondocks-style (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QmO2m15WAc) thuggin’ love, however.
We’ll wrap up today with our second place finisher: Nick Kang, from True Crime: Streets of LA. The renegade cop approach is perpetually sexy, as is his penchant for martial arts, fast driving, and gunplay. What’s more, he’s voiced by Russell Wong, complete with the same sense of style – gotta love the sunglasses – that we saw him show off in Romeo Must Die. As much as it breaks my heart not to be able to give everyone’s favorite hapa policeman first place, though, the fact is that most of his appeal really just isn’t HIS – see the image for the uncanny similarity to Chow Yun Fat’s character in The Replacement Characters. Still, Kang’s a high-scoring homage to all the bad-ass Asian men out there, and really, once you see who our Sexiest Man of Gaming is tomorrow, you’ll understand there’s absolutely no shame in taking second place.