The 13 Hottest Men of Gaming, In Color, Part 2April 4, 2008
Yesterday saw Token Minorities get more traffic than it’s ever had before. Nice to know that no matter how many people I piss off about Japan, or Indigo Prophecy, all it takes is some straight up old-fashioned objectification of hot men of color to bring in the hits. So! Today I’m going ahead with the next installment of the 13 Hottest Men of Gaming, in Color: 9th-6th place. Brace yourself for The Sexy.
The Paladin from Blizzard’s Diablo II takes the 9th place crown away. I might as well admit here that I have a weakness for tall, dark, and handsome, but the offensive and defensive aura skills, which benefit the whole party, indicate that he’s a pretty giving guy in the sack, and even better – he’s a team player. Also of note: Zeal means fast hands, and Conversion could make for some kinky mind-control fantasies. I don’t really want to think about anything that involves Fist of Heavens, however – that just sounds uncomfortable. Unless, you know, you’re into that kind of thing. Rock on.
Guy leaps out of the crime-ridden streets of Metro City, in Capcom’s Street Fighter Alpha and Final Fight series, to snatch 8th on my list. Ninjas are sexy, and ninjas with unconventional running high-low mixups that are hard to use and get used to are sexier. If that weren’t enough, Guy is so sexy that he got an SNES game practically devoted to him – Final Fight Guy – because his lithe, wiry body couldn’t be contained by an SNES cart with notorious honkies like “Yeah…I went to prison” Cody and Haggar the Wrasslin’ Mayor.
7th place goes to the woefully underappreciated Great Tiger, Champion of India in the arcade classic Super Punch-Out. Although he’s on the older end now (just turned 50, apparently), his lightning-speed jabs, affinity for cats, and the unabashed pride with which he rocks his turban in the ring ranks him right smack in the middle of our list. And really, winquotes like “I have purred long enough! Now hear me roar!” seal the deal. Rippling 8-bit muscles have never looked quite so delicious, though the ‘stache is a little much.
Capcom’s got another strong finish in their 6th place contender from Super Street Fighter II, Thunder Hawk. Like Great Tiger, he’s one of the few strong men representing his people, and he does so in spades…in fact, his arms are practically representing right through that flimsy little jacket. Anyone looking for a denim-and-leather-clad-biker-bear of a man probably won’t do any better in the video game world than T. Hawk. Here’s to hoping he doesn’t get re-wardrobed when he makes his HD debut.
Tomorrow: 5th through 2nd place!